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Saturday, July 11, 2015

Keeping The Faith

Hi everyone!

It's been so hot here in the Adirondacks,  it's really making it hard to function.  Last week I received an email from the study in Chicago.  Because I haven't required steroids at least two times in the last 12 months and my most recent MRI didn't show any new lesions I don't qualify for the study.  But,  they did tell me that if my next MRI shows any activity to send it to them and they will reevaluate. 

I feel like I'm being punished for being a "trooper".  I've had relapses during the last year,  but I haven't gone to the doctor.  I've had a few that caused body numbness,  migraines,  dizziness,  I could go on...  My outlook is,  if I can function I'll just wait it out.  It'll go away eventually.  I hate the way steroids make me feel and I hate having all of those extra chemicals and hormones in my body.  Anyway,  steroids don't cure anything.  They just make it go away faster.  In the past I never saw the point of complaining or going to the doctor.  There was no point.  It's incurable.  This is my life and I have to deal with it.  But now there's hope!  It is pretty amazing.

I have an appointment with my neurologist next week.  This time I'm going to complain.  I don't feel well! I am constantly dizzy,  lightheaded and have several migraines a day.  It's hard to walk and hard to keep my thoughts straight.  Maybe I can have an MRI and maybe it will show activity.  Feeling crummy is kind of my default setting.  Is that just how I am now or does that mean I have active lesions?  I have no idea. 

Well,  do me a favor.  Think unhappy,  lesioney thoughts for me next week.  If this complaining plan doesn't work I'm going to have to go out of the country for treatment.  I don't know if I can afford that.  Argh.  I'm so sick of feeling sick! 

I need a nap. 

In other news,  my kids are awesome.  :)